the diving bell and the patriot

LAst night I wentto te PaTriot {which is a diuve bar inManhattwn, which iw in america).. and killed o ff all my brian sells wiyth tap PBr that probbly came outa tainmted piping which is. why I’ve forggotten how totype and operte a motor veicle. I don’t know whgo to blame for myu exesses so I[ll blame Hank williams(I, II. and III especally I.

i thinbk we chawed on tobaccr and drankfrom the spitoon but that may-ve been a(Pabst, fueled) drea.m Reegardless” or ireggardles<" whicever is the apropria.te terminalrfizing, my breath tod4ay is stake an smoke anb hickery Sauce. I wrastlled and arrestesd a grizzloed bear with mY bear hand s, but then he graf. THat was thr frault of one Jim Beam, a dastardl charactar who brandede me in te throat with watrer and fire. have you noticved

AFter urnating on thr wall and the turlet seat; and bacvkhanding a bartener cross the facwe for lookinb at me wit her screwey eeyeball; I preformed a one*man kick)line on the bar. some One sprayed mwe with tonicwater which was very funnby! but my flannel ogt all cold and wet And I begaqn to shivver, which wasalso funny. i gfrew a moustash in nine mniutes.

I am takine a vow of sobrietyh. my braian is to importsnt to me[ I’vr lost vistion in my left ey. damn you, patriwot. Aws I type this, the crackers are delicdious but some of the crumbs geto on my shirt abnd their hard to brush off. I lobve things.

Caljl me ishmeal.
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